What the ef? bff?

Before you get all crazy curious on me about the title of this post, let me first inform you that this isn’t what you think.

I’m going to tell you why an ef is better than a bff.

Don’t know what the ef an ef is you say?…don’t worry, just keep reading.

On the road of life, there are ‘your people’, and there are ‘other people.’  There is pretty much nobody else.

Within that realm, there are acquaintances and friends, and with friendship, there are all manner of layers.  There is the kind of friendship that says “hey, you are cool and I am cool too, so let’s be cool together until one of us isn’t cool anymore and then part ways”, or “hey we are both (fill in the blank) so let’s get together.”  And while I am all for that type of friendship in more transient times of life, let’s be honest, the golden nugget of all friendships is the one you don’t have to try to get.  A person who “knew you when…” and still loves you to death, and doesn’t even have to express it is an added bonus as years go by.  Instead of causing stress or drama (is my outfit up to snuff? do I make enough money to be admired? is the music I like still considered cool?) these friends make you feel right at ease to think instead, “why yes, I suppose I am pretty great” or “Wow, it’s so nice to unload that (fart) or (secret) and not be judged even in the slightest.”

It is, admittedly, quite difficult to really capture and pinpoint what makes anything sacred, particularly a friendship, without sounding cheesy our soapy, but I’ve been thinking about it quite hard over the past 24 hours and I think I’ve nailed it.

Behold, the Identity Layers Chart (I just made that up)

 We all have them – our little broadcasts to the world about what we are and what we want to be, our carefully crafted images.  Layers and layers below any of this though, below anything that has ever happened to you, anything that ever will happen to you, below any job you take or any relationship you maintain or any responsibility you take on, is a little, cherish-able spirit that is undeniably two things:

(1) born for greatness, and

(2) worth any price anyone could ever have to pay.

We all know this, but we all doubt this.  However, an eternal friend (ef) gets it.  An ef never lets you forget this.  An ef has a HUGE sign that says “YOU ARE HERE” pointing right to your divine nature and individual worth…(you know, that stuff that you lose track of when you start getting caught up with all those cool people, that great job, or awesome overwhelming stresses of life)  at all times, without even trying.  It just happens.

It’s effortless.

And as special as it is to have such an ef in your life, it’s never an exclusive deal.  The very act of focusing on others true characters and bringing out the best in them automatically invites even more friends to get in on the fun.  An eternal friend is the opposite of bff exclusive pack promoting clique.  In fact, that is why we started this blog.  We want more REAL friends, and you’re officially invited to the party.



2 responses to “What the ef? bff?

  1. Loved this Jonesie. Well Said. It really made me realize how important it is to forgive when your eternal friends hurt you. I have been so angry at one of my favorite people in the world for the past few days, and you just reminded me of how lame that is, because those kind of friends never mean us harm. I have probably shared too much, in this public arena. So suffice it to say, thank you. I needed to hear this this week.

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