If there is one thing that I have learned from my daily commute to work, it is how to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks to “the big dig” there are lots of tunnels in this city.
We moved to Boston almost 2 years ago so that Brigham, my husband, (ironically, his nickname is “brig dig” – coincidence? I think not) could pursue an advanced degree in Music: Viola Performance, which turned into a double major, adding Music Education to the mix.
It has been a long, fast tunnel. For a while, our life felt like this picture.
A few days ago, I got an email entitled “On this day last year” from my online journal. I was curious about what I was feeling at the time, so I went back and read it.
“I am the primary breadwinner at the moment, the primary cook, the primary grocery shopper/budgeter, the primary laundry person, the primary cleaner, and the primary dishes-doer. When I am not directly accomplishing these tasks, I am directly in charge of delegating them to my husband and following up with him (managing the task = still working)…Supporting a student is not as easy of a task as I originally imagined, and I am struggling with it…even tough I know that we are in the right situation and doing what is best for our future. He is working hand over fist to get A’s and improve his musical skills, and his career prospects in every way, and to help out where he can.
I read a book this weekend entitled “Mans Search For Meaning” (about the Holocaust) that presented this quote several times throughout the text:
“He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how.”
I will say that this quote really touched me. I tried really hard to realize then, and especially realize now, that the why of this experience is growth. Hindsight is 20/20, but I think faith is 20/20 also, because even though you are somewhat blind as you move forward, when you are acting on faith you are working with vision, which is really special. We both felt very strong convictions that Boston would be the right place for us when we got married. It has been a challenge at times, but it has also been a time of incredible growth for both of us personally, and has taught us how to work as a team in our marriage. The opportunity to support each other and make meaningful sacrifices has now become the foundation of our relationship, and that, my friends, has made all the difference. It brings me so much joy to see my husband happy in a career path that he was born to do. And I do feel that the “why” is definitely 100% worth the how!
I counted this morning how long it takes me to get through my tunnel to work. I counted 46 seconds of darkness, and then an additional 30 seconds from when I could see the light until I got back to the surface. In life, sometimes you just have to take a few steps into the darkness before you can see the light. You just have to have some faith!
And now, behold the light!
Next weekend, Brigham will be performing at is Senior Recital, and on May 12th, he will be graduating!!!! WOO HOO!!!
In August, he wraps up his summer Music Education program, then in the Fall he begins Student Teaching!
Come January, we’ll have a completely different life!
And then, just like my morning commute through tunnels in Boston, at that point will likely enter a new tunnel shortly after popping out of the first one…
Whatever. Bring it on!
The key is to look forward to the light.